Monday, January 7, 2013

The First: Enrique


 He was my first boyfriend and the first guy to ever really pay attention to me in a romantic way and show it openly.  I had just “blossomed” and was at the time in the best shape and looks I’ve ever been (except for the really yellow teeth yeesh) and was possessed with a crippling self-esteem product of both the existence of a heavy case of co-dependence and emotional detachment in my family and the fact that I grew up as a white girl in Mexico, the consummate outsider, the white child in a sea of brown. He boosted my self-esteem and helped me get on my feet before trying to make me into the girl he wanted me to be with pretty florals and pink dresses and (in fact as evidenced by the name of this blog I’m much more of the darker type than stereotypically girly). Long story short I did my best to change myself to him and he became much of the focus of my life. I was also just starting college and getting my first taste of independence; I missed most of my classes and hung out with him instead most of the time. In the end he ended up cheating on me three different times with three different girls (a fact that only came to my attention much much later) before finally breaking up with me.

I was 17 and he ws 16 in this picture.  This is a cutout of a picture the guy below me tagged me in on Facebook which is the only reason I was able to find a pic of us together

 Until next time

Funny Things to Ponder